Hold Me
by truth14
Summary: She didnt know why, but it made it better... For a minute, everything was ok, and she didnt have to feel the pain... Troyella.


Hey. This is kind of depressing, just a warning. My best friend got admitted to hospital today for not eating and I wrote this. But then I added Troyella at the end and it made the day ok, so I thought id post it even if u all hate it. But hey that's ok; I didn't write it for you, I wrote it for me.

She didn't know why she did it. It didn't make sense. She sat back against the wall of the bathroom and began to sob. She didn't know where her mother was. Half of her wanted her mother to be here to hold her, yet the other half of glad she was at work. Which part was her?

She doubled over and crawled into a foetal position on the floor. She didn't get it. It wasn't her. She had always loved food. And it wasn't that she didn't want to eat. And it wasn't that she thought she was fat. So why was it she didn't want to eat, and couldn't keep anything down?

When you finish primary school, you start to think about 'the future'. You plan your life, exactly how it's supposed to be according to Walt Disney. You promise yourself that your going to go to college, and you'll never smoke and never drink. That you'll always judge people only by what's in their heart and never on appearances. That you will always be best friends with your mum and never keep anything from her. That drugs are out of the question and that one day, you'll meet the perfect guy, get married, and only then consent to sex for procreation, and then die hand in hand with you loved one at the ripe old age of 100.

This plan sounds great, but it doesn't account for everything that doesn't go right in your life. Sometimes one person can have an affect on you that you thought no one could ever have: And not always in a good way. We let people close to us. And it is these people closest to us who have the ability to hurt us most. They hold more power than they can imagine; the power of our heart and our happiness. A power too great to be handed to anyone; a power too great even to hold for ourselves.

Everyone says that mistakes are ok because you can learn from them. But the only way we learn from them is because they become open wounds which never heal and are never ok. It is in the constant pain that we face the rest of our life, and only in the constant pain can we choose a different path.

She didn't understand why this made her feel good. She wanted that food so badly, but to let it go eased her pain ever so slightly. It wasn't a regular thing, but whenever she was stressed, it made it all seem ok. It wasn't about weight: it never was for her. It was about control. When everything else spun out of control, and she was drowning in herself, somehow this made it ok, because she knew that this one thing that was hers to command. She lay on the bathroom floor drinking from her bottle of water. She was so distraught at what she had become. How could this be her? This wasn't in the plan; this was something that happened to others, not to her. Yet somehow she felt better. She began to drift off to sleep.

Troy climbed up to the balcony. Gabi had seemed really stressed today, and he wanted to make sure she was ok. He knocked on the door of the balcony, but no one answered, so he pushed it, and to his surprise it opened. She wasn't answering to her name but eventually he saw that the bathroom door was ajar and knocked on it, pushing it open. He saw Gabi asleep on the floor: her hair a mess and tear stains on her cheeks. He didn't know what happened, he could only guess, and act on what was presented to him now. He walked in and scooped her off the floor. She was cold, but ok on the whole, just sleeping. He pulled back the covers on her bed and lay her down. His princess. She was beautiful: always beautiful to him. As he lay down next to her, he pulled her close to him, hugging her from behind. Their breathing was in time as though they were only one entity. He pulled the covers over them and softly began to sing to her, even though he knew she was asleep.

"Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit  
Outside your door and listen to you breathing  
Is where I want to be"

He drifted off to sleep.

Gabriella awoke slowly. All her muscles ached from both falling asleep on the bathroom floor, and also just from how terrible she felt. As she slowly slipped back into consciousness she noticed she wasn't in the bathroom. But in her bed. AS she went to sit up, she felt the weight of an arm around her, holding her tight. She turned slightly to see a sleeping Troy, clinging to her as if she held the secrets of the world in her heart. She smiled at him and snuggled back into his frame. And for that moment, everything was ok. And she didn't feel the hurt.


End file.
